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Jan 05, 2024

Jake Paul and Nate Diaz set boxing back at least a week, probably more

The only reason to watch Jake Paul box is to see a YouTube personality get hit in the face. Like that Twitch star who started a riot in Union Square this week; get him in a pair of gloves and let a

The only reason to watch Jake Paul box is to see a YouTube personality get hit in the face. Like that Twitch star who started a riot in Union Square this week; get him in a pair of gloves and let a New Yorker of equal stature go a few rounds. On Saturday night in Dallas, Nate Diaz, a 37-year-old UFC fighter making his boxing debut, squared off against Paul, who won by unanimous decision after 10 rounds of spectacle.

Both exchanged punches, and Paul even dropped Diaz in the fifth round, yet this was sweet, slightly fermented science. After watching Terence Crawford-Errol Spence Jr. last weekend, this was a clown show; an episode of Pros vs. Joes, but with an undercard of what appeared to be real boxers.

Diaz was not that, and repeatedly used gamesmanship, or awkward grasps, as a way to catch his breath and really drive home the sense of self-loathing I got watching. Paul connected with a left to the temple of Diaz in the fifth and almost sent him out of the ring, but it wasn’t enough to fully KO the Stockton, Calif. native known for his chin.

In the ensuing rounds, occasional flurries were landed between a lot of clenching. Both guys were content getting out of the ring with a payday, and just enough brain cells to spend it. The downside, other than wasting an hour of my life, was that Paul’s head could’ve been bounced around a little more.

What punches Diaz did land came with the power of a barely motivated, partially trained ex-mixed martial artist with an eye on retirement. The fans who spent $60 on the DAZN PPV deserved better. Hell, the people who watched it illegally and spent their night closing Hentai porn pop-ups and refreshing cracked streams deserved better, or at least more blood.

Paul seems desperate for attention, and eager to absorb boldly harm to get it, so perhaps Dana White can persuade him to try his luck at Power Slap. Nothing exudes the kind of male toxicity that Paul has made his brand like taking a power slap to the face. I’m sure one of his many followers would volunteer as an opponent, and that way, we can root for both participants to get concussions.

Anyhoo, boxing is dead, and if you need more proof than the charade put on by Paul and Diaz: the best punch of the evening was landed on a baseball diamond, and not inside the square circle.

Just when you thought the Chicago White Sox season couldn’t be going any worse, into second slides Jose “The Ding Ding Man” Ramirez.

Tim Anderson might have to leave Chicago — certainly the South Side — after putting his dukes up, and still getting molly whopped like that. Both players, and their respective managers were ejected. However, the Sox ended up beating the Cleveland Guardians, 7-4.